Binge eating and emotional eating are different.
Binge eating, as I see it, is the experience of eating mass quantities in a frenzy, in a checked out and urgent state, in a way that we cannot seem to stop even if we try. It’s a complete highjacking.
Emotional eating is a bit slower. It’s compelling but not imperative. It’s disconnected but not primal.
Many times, people learn to stop binge eating but still stay in a state of emotional eating.
This is not pathological.
Moving from binge eating to emotional eating can be a very normal progression in recovery. Working through emotional eating, in many cases, is a longer phase of food freedom than working through binge eating.
I think that sometimes people start to pathologize their emotional eating because it feels like I should be recovered. Binge eating is a Big Problem, whereas emotional eating feels more subtle. It’s easy to gaslight emotional eating because it’s “better” than binges, and the fact that we do feel more “in control” than we did warrants it less of a real Thing.
It’s okay if there is more work to be done.
It’s okay if you aren’t binge eating but don’t feel like you’re intuitively eating, either.
Think about it: how long were you unknowingly inside of the disorder?
How long did you suppress your Self, your emotions, your creativity and sense of purpose, in the name of controlling your food and body size?
This WHOLE journey — not just the binge recovery, but the WHOLE food freedom thing — may take longer than you thought.
And that’s ok!
In the same way that you learned to neutralize food and self-criticism during your recovery thus far, you’ll need to neutralize emotional eating, too.
If you graze a lot or choose seconds when you’re full or eat because you’re bored —
it’s okay.
You are okay.
The permission that freed you from the throes of binges is the same permission that will free you from your current expectations. Being curious and free of self-doubt are not strategies that expire just because things improved.
Maybe it’s a nervous system regulation thing, maybe it’s more trauma healing, maybe it’s identity exploration, maybe it’s alignment, maybe it’s just time.
Keep moving in the direction of permission to be where you are, and lean into your growth at your own pace.
