Body Checking Makes Us Feel Worse, Not Better
Body checking is the act of measuring, feeling, or looking at your body in certain areas to assess its size, or changes in size.
Ritualistic forms of body checking can happen so subtly and automatically that we may not even know we're doing it. For example, waking up in the morning and placing your hand on your stomach to assess its flatness relative to yesterday, or looking down in the shower to see how far certain body parts stick out.
For some people, this might be harmless. Maybe it has to do with reminding ourselves that we have boundaries, or feeling like we can rely on our bodies to stay constant and reliable.
But for many, many other people, this is how we measure self worth.
If the body is perceived to be different or growing, an entire network of thought and emotions can crumble into a pile of anxiety, depression, and fear.
And so body checking is assumed to be a way that someone "feels better," because they need reassurance that they are, in fact, not changing and still "under control" (as far as weight is perceived to be a form of self-control.)
But in reality, body checking has been found to increase body dissatisfaction and worsen mood regardless of the outcome.
I think this is because it draws attention to our body as a determinant of worth in the first place, and reminds us that we believe our value is conditional upon the results we find through the checking. So even if you feel temporarily "reassured," you ultimately leave with the message that self-approval is conditional.
It is incredibly difficult to break this habit, but it's an extremely worthwhile endeavor. Even reducing it or becoming more mindful about what it's actually doing to you can be a helpful step.
If you catch yourself engaging in this behavior, take a minute to pause and ask yourself what you are really looking for. Redirect your attention back to your actual life (which, admittedly, can be part of the issue itself, as body checking is a great distraction from what troubles us more deeply) or assume the first person experience of your body rather than the experience of being looked AT.
What do you notice when you stop checking?
