I Stopped Dieting and Now I Feel Self-Conscious In My Body. Help!
It is almost universal to feel increased insecurity and discomfort when you recover from disordered eating and gain weight.
This is, in part, due to a shift in value systems and identity that has been familiar to us for so long.
There are some basic ways to challenge this, outlined here.
Have compassion as you move through this process, because it really takes time to integrate all of this in a way that measurably impacts your sense of well-being. You are literally shifting belief systems.
Here are some things to consider:
USE BODY NEUTRALITY.
Instead of pressuring yourself into positivity, allow yourself to stay neutral about your body. Put the focus on other things. Intentionally shift your value system away from appearance and into things like resilience or leadership (or whatever else you've been discovering about yourself as you've gained mental space.)
USE POSTURING.
Studies show that the way we carry ourselves not only has an impact on how others perceive us, but on how we feel about ourselves. An upright, expansive posture sends signals to your brain that you are feeling confident. Use this feedback loop in front of the mirror, in the presence of others, or whenever you notice your body contracting with insecurity.
EXAMINE YOUR BIAS.
If gaining weight makes you feel self-conscious, this is (in part) because society has taught us that fat is bad. This belief is damaging to you, to me, to everyone. Over time, you can untangle this messaging by learning about body diversity, Health at Every Size, and fat activism. Small acts of advocacy (including teaching others or emailing brands to be more inclusive) goes a long way to feel empowered.
WEAR COMFORTABLE CLOTHES.
This basic strategy can't be emphasized enough. Wearing clothes (including underwear and bras) that aren't digging into your skin and distracting you all day is foundational to feeling neutral. You deserve to be comfortable; this is a form of body respect. When we respect our body by wearing clothes that we like and that fit, we communicate our self-worth. *This is more accessible to straight sizes, but some brands are adopting expanded sizing, like Did & Co, Old Navy, Athleta, Eloquii, Torrid.
ADOPT THE “F-IT” MENTALITY.
When it comes down to it, nothing is going to make us feel better about our bodies if we are only focusing on our bodies. So when the load gets too heavy, remember that life is short and we have better things to do than judge ourselves all day long. We are what we are in this moment. F it.
