Referring Out
I never wanted to hear about binge eating from anyone who hadn’t experienced binge eating.
Any therapist, coach, educator, or author I ever took advice from had to include a lived history of binge eating, because (to me) lived experience is trust. Lived experience confirms that someone understands the nuances, that they “get it.”
As such, my role as a binge eating recovery coach feels authentic and true.
I bring this up because this past week, the Health at Every Size (HAES)community has experienced a wake-up call.
The leader of the HAES movement, the predominant voice, the figurehead, Lindo Bacon, is a thin person.
While this is not news, it was exposed that they have been failing to adequately listen to or credit members of the fat community (who HAES is literally designed for) in favor of keeping that clout, authority, and power for themselves.
And apparently, this is not news to HAES activists either — but it is now being exposed to the community at large through a series of emails, posts, and letters. (See ASDAH blog for background.)
It reminds me that the leaders of movements that seek to liberate groups of people should be those whom are most oppressed by them.
And those who are most oppressed should be at the center of that conversation, or the conversation risks being monopolized by those who directly benefit from the marginalization to begin with.
I am also a body image coach, and I have lived experience of living in a mid to plus size body.
But I have also been able to rely on my youth (at a certain points), my race, and my conventionally attractive features to “make up for” my deviation from the thin ideal.
But I do not have the experience of unavoidable weight stigma and walking around feeling openly marginalized, or being afraid to sit in chairs in restaurants or asking for a seat belt extender.
And because these experiences are at the heart of fat liberation (which is inextricably tied to body image healing), I can only offer part of that healing. It is not my place to claim expertise in an area that is not mine.
For anyone looking for further education or support around body image from the vantage point of actually living in a larger body, or who want to dismantle fat phobia from the voices of those who own that story, I encourage you to seek support and/or education from the source.
Some of my favorites include:
@bodyimagewithbri
@fierce.fatty
@fatmarquisele
@fatwomenofcolor
@iamivyfelicia
@nic.mcdermid
@antidietfatty
@asdah
@fatdoctoruk
BOOKS:
Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker
The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
Happy Fat by Sofie Hagen
You Have the Right to Remain Fat by Virgie Tovar
Hunger by Roxane Gay
Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings
What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon.
