What if I think losing weight WOULD fix my body image?
We have a belief that if our body was smaller, our body image would improve. Even if you intellectually reject this idea, you may really struggle with emotionally accepting this as true — after all, in a smaller body you feel more confident, happy, and ready to take on the world. (At least, it feels like that, doesn’t it?)
While it is true that smaller bodies are more valued in society, is it true that real happiness comes from being artificially valued by society?
Let’s consider the following four factors:
There is a difference between confidence and body image.
In today's world, losing weight can provide a boost of confidence rooted in being more admired, accepted, and congratulated by society. However, that confidence can be fleeting. When we feel that our worth depends on our appearance, it starts to feel hollow. The pressure rises and we crave more of it. Positive body image, on the other hand, is based on something more real and sustainable. It allows us to feel gratitude for our bodies knowing that our worth is not related to how we look.
2. It's easy to compartmentalize the highs and lows of dieting.
When we think of ourselves in a smaller body or look at old photos of yourself from smaller days, we project all the positive associations of dieting onto that image. We recall the attention, the power, the confidence we felt in those moments when we first put on the outfit or stepped into the room. What we don't remember is the hunger, the pressure, the vigilance, the food obsession. Remember that our memory is glorifying something that wasn't exactly glorious outside of the high moments.
3. Self-confidence comes from our beliefs.
If your life felt better in a smaller body, consider that this was related to your beliefs rather than your actual size. Feelingmore outgoing, bubbly, and self-confident comes from feeling worthy in your body -- if you think you are more worthy, you are going to act like you're more worthy. This is not a product of your body but of your thoughts about your body. Changing your belief system is not easy or quick, but far more sustainable and authentic. If you believe your body is still worthy at a larger size, you'll behave like you're worthy.
4. There are ways to empower yourself that don't rely on anti-fatness.
Confidence that comes from size is oppressive to others. We've been trained to see our most empowered self as a smaller-bodied self, but that's rooted in a crappy value system. Reassign your source of empowerment to things that actually represent WHO you are instead of what you look like. Spread your net wider. What else is freaking fantastic about you? What can you offer the world? I promise you, there's more to you than this.
If you are having trouble separating confidence from body image, or if you need support as you navigate body respect in a world that values body-aesthetic, contact me for coaching.
Confidence and self-worth are available to you in this body.
