How to Approach Fitness Without Obsession

Movement is a natural part of being human — we are designed for it. Centuries ago, no one hit the gym or took HIIT classes; movement was more integrated into daily living. But today, we’ve got convenience at our fingertips, PLUS a hefty dose of diet and fitness culture telling us that we need to earn our food and burn those calories.

We’ve grown up in a culture where movement means only what diet culture wants it to mean — a way of losing weight. Some of us have never had relationship with movement beyond punishment or controlling body size. If you want to re-introduce fitness back into your life but don’t know how to do it with a healthy mindset, consider the following:

Name Your Why.

Ask yourself what your reasoning is. If the goal is not weight loss, what is it? What about fitness appeals to you? Some examples: structure and routine, endorphins, mental clarity, getting frustration energy out of the body, being outside, alone time, listening to music or podcasts, having a community, feeling stronger in day to day tasks. Try to find a reason that resonates; one that you actively appreciate rather than one that sounds good in theory. This may take exploration, and may require trying different styles and environments. For example, a community class feels different than at-home classes; yoga feels different than HIIT. Outside feels different than inside, and weather matters. Having a few different Why's helps fitness feel more authentic instead of obsessive.

Name Your Red Flags.

If you've been down a slippery slope of fitness obsession before, you've already got evidence of how that looks. Write a list of what the signs are. A recent client of mine defined her red flags as: feeling guilty about having to miss a day; working out when sick or too busy; working out more than once a day; working out more than X times per week; missing events to work out. My suggestion is to start out with boundaries that offer more flexibility in the beginning; so if your goal is to work out X amount of time, start at half of that and commit to it for a period of time. Easing in helps prevent the overwhelm that can lead to black and white thinking and extremism. Play with the gray area.

Be intentional (and serious) about rest and breaks.

Rest and the ability to take breaks without guilt is KEY to having a healthy relationship with exercise. Be intentional about offering this to yourself, because when left to our own devices it can be easy to "just keep pushing." I offer myself breaks during certain seasons, non-negotiably. I slow down in the wintertime, when the weather is colder and the evenings are darker. I take time off when I am sick or have my period. I skip exercise when I have really busy days. I do this very intentionally and as a result, I feel much more comfortable with time off because I realize it doesn't take away from my overall consistency or motivation. In fact, it builds trust between my mind and my body and the relationship I have with movement.

Find accountability.

We are used to thinking about "accountability" as a trainer or coach who pushes us to do more. But I have found that coaching helps clients stay accountable to themselves about not moving into obsession or old ways. Accountability can still be a useful tool outside of diet culture -- it's all about how you use it. Having a sounding board to help you stay centered is a stepping stone into self-trust and safety.

Account for context and life seasons.

Fitness with a robotic, obsessive approach has no regard for the dynamic nature of our human lives. Our energy, resources, and needs change as our lives change. What our body has energy for in the winter is different than in the summer; sometimes we need restoration over high-intensity; sometimes we need to be still and spend our energy nurturing relationships over movement. Our health status, motherhood status, age status, injury status, stress status -- these things are going to impact the role of movement in our lives. Allow for this. Work with what you have. There is no race to be won. Honor the holistic needs of your life and factor in movement as a single component, not a be-all-end-all.

And remember that healing all relationships take time.

If you’re working in your relationship with exercise alongside of food and body image, I offer 1:1 coaching to help you along the way. Apply here.