Pressure-Cooker Binges

I can't tell you how many times I've come home from work (or class, before it was work) and within the hour, found myself knee deep in a binge.

It was particularly problematic after I had kids, because there was no time to even attempt to decompress or delay the inevitable--I went straight into binge mode with the onslaught of backpacks, tears, hugs, snack requests, dinner prep, and my family I room looking like a tornado went through it.

I call those binges "pressure cooker binges" because they tend to happen when we transition from one headspace to the next, using food as the mechanism by which we release the pressure of our day, and (in some cases) deal with the added pressure of the new moment simultaneously.

I believe there is a transitional energy shift that takes place when we move from a structured routine into an unstructured one, and if we are sensitive to change and/or lack of structure, we become anxious and need a quick release. On top of that, we have built-up pressure from the day (not necessarily bad pressure, just energy pressure) that also needs decompressing. But how many of us are taught to slow down and pay attention to those inner signals? And if we were, how easy has it been to sustain in today's fast-paced world?

Food is such an easy antidote. It's available, it's immediate, it's convenient, it's palatable, it's rhythmic, it's sensory, it's grounding. It might actually be a resourceful coping tool if it wasn't so entrenched with guilt, which can fuel its development into a full-blown binge.

Before I go any further, I want to remind you that if there is any restriction taking place outside of the regular pressures of life, the binge response will be exponentially greater. Your brain will take advantage of your vulnerability during moments of stress and transition to capitalize on the opportunity for food. It will direct you to the refrigerator and invite you to binge in a frenzy. If you are restricting, none of the tools I am about to describe to you will be of much use, because biology wins over evolved brain processes every time. (This is also true if you are under your body's natural weight set point.)

But if you are relatively sure that you are NOT restricting, or if you are actively working on recovery and still experiencing this pressure-cooker binge madness on a regular basis, consider the following tools:

Time. If you are in the process of recovery, your brain may not have worked out all the kinks yet. There may still be strong associations of binges with the routine of coming home after a long day that need to be disentangled. It can happen naturally over time, or you can encourage the dissociation by actively reminding yourself that you are not in a threatened state and that food is available to you at all times of day. Try not to freak out about the binge response, because that will foster feelings of food guilt, which will increase the likelihood of a binge. Self-compassion and patience will win the day. In time, you may notice the binges becoming less and less frequent as your body slowly realizes that food is not scarce.

Grounding. In a heightened state of arousal (especially one that accompanies moving from an alone-space to a kid-zone, which can be a sensory overload), we can go into a fight-or-flight (or freeze) response. You may notice yourself feeling aggressive and quick to anger (fight), looking for a quick escape and checking out of the present moment (flight), or feeling like a deer in headlights and unable to act/make decisions (freeze). Understanding that this is happening to you is the first step. The second step is to calm your body down. This can be achieved by putting a hand on your chest or belly and focusing on deep, long breathing; or focusing on the pulse of your heartbeat to get you in the present moment. These techniques can be used right in the moment and for only a few seconds to shift yourself out of panic mode, which might allow you enough time to shift out of a binge mindset.

Create your own transition. Walking right into the kitchen after a long day can feel daunting and overwhelming. We might use food as a way of calming ourselves down because what we’re really craving is downtime. Instead, go upstairs first. Change out of your clothes. Wash your face. Lay on your bed for 5 minutes. (Moms, I know this is far fetched but if you have a sitter who can stay the extra few minutes, it’s worth it.) Allow yourself the time to move from one part of your day into the next more slowly. Your mind needs a chance to calm down before being shoved right into the next episode of the day. Before heading back downstairs, remind yourself that food is not off-limits—it might be helpful to have an idea of what dinner will look like (including what time) so there is a sense of structure around it.

Emotion identification. Many times, we don’t get a chance to process events from our day in real time, and they tend to get antsy later on. If you know something bothered you during the day but now you just feel like eating, name what’s actually wrong. What triggered you earlier? What’s still festering inside of you? What do you need to talk about? If it helps, write it down and promise yourself that you’ll talk or write it out later. The most important thing is to acknowledge its presence instead of pushing it aside. Food is a way of telling emotions to be quiet, but they need expression to work their way through.

Call it out. When you’re in the middle of a pressure cooker moment, name it. Say to yourself, I’m doing that pressure cooker thing again. This helps create a separation between you and the binge—you are not the binge, you are experiencing a desire to binge based on faulty information (namely, that you don’t have the resources to deal with the pressure build-up). But you DO have the resources. You can relax, breathe, and feel emotions. You might just be out of practice. So call out the binge for what it is—misdirected energy that you can deal with in other ways with time and practice.